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NOTE:  This notice of potential future employment opportunities is severely restricted to MAGA supporters and devotees of Donald Trump:  others need not apply.

Once Trump returns to POTUS, among many specific things he proposes to eliminate from the old democratic-based republic we currently call the United States, Trump has stated that he will replace the existing civil service corps with people who are loyal to him.  That will include up to 2.5 million jobs given to MAGA supporters regardless of experience.  Now, that’s job creation for your devotees!

You can see a small example of this unfolding now as Trump has already replaced management of the Republican National Committee (RNC) with loyalists, including his daughter-in-law Laura, where replacement job applicants now have to agree that Trump did not lose the 2020 election in order to apply for the new job openings.  Although not many in total, this current employment opportunity shows the way of the future.

In the return to greatness, the prohibition against slavery will be reversed, but with a few caveats.  MAGA “originalists” say “slavery” was not outlawed in the “original” Constitution (the one put in place before progressives decided it needed to be modified to catch up with the times), and so, newly unemployed civil servants, finding themselves without social safety nets or other means of support, will avail themselves to new work opportunities, learning new skills in these new jobs (like Ron DeSantis says past slaves in America enjoyed).  One caveat will be that slavery will not be strictly related to race and/or gender as in the old days, but will include anyone regardless of skin color, sex, sexual orientation, cultural connections, citizenship, non-MAGA-related religion, etc.  Where in ages past, slavery was enforced by violence, much of it in the future will not be, just like it is today, where economic inequality runs on steroids and forces its own definition of slavery psychologically.  As fossil fuel usage is reduced to help save humanity from extinction (yes, even MAGA folks are not suicidal), many agricultural jobs will return to being manual and all those new slaves will need supervision by MAGA brethren, and in a turn of fate, many of those jobs will need guns as part of their control, so there will no longer be any need for all this gun control nonsense.  MAGA will have given us a new savior:  Trump compares himself to Jesus (like Tennessee’s Andrew Johnson did as POTUS in the 1860’s) and quotes Psalm 109 that calls for the destruction of one’s enemies, so make sure those resumes include your allegiance to Christianity to avoid any confusion.

And I wouldn’t worry too much about the rampant bribery that will result as of this authoritarian change to federal government operations (very similar to how 3^rd-world countries now operate), so fear not:  MAGA-certified folks will be given good-ole-boy discounts in this expanded mandatory accommodation to the free market.

And to think, a dictator can bring all this societal divisiveness and separation to an immediate end by simple decree!  All legal proceedings against the new dictator and his supporters will vanish, be reversed, or pardoned instantaneously!  The contentiousness about what is free speech will be decided by MAGA authority!  Education of children will no longer have differing angles of approach:  the truth will come from on high!  Controversies about election results will go away as any future elections will be rigged for a pre-determined MAGA win (like Russian elections are rigged for Putin).  All jobs in media and libraries will become MAGA controlled or sanctioned and will mean that all the current jobs in those fields (and the propaganda wings that they will rely upon) will need to be filled by more MAGA loyalists.  And, the true order of a religiously-based society (Christian theocracy, of course; we don’t want to go down that diversity, inclusion, or equity road again!) will have fixed laws easy for anyone to understand and whose judgements will be decided by a re-empowered priesthood (as they adjudicate from Trump’s favorite book).  All of these changes present new employment opportunities to MAGA folks – unprecedented in scope and scale, but loyalists will still have to prove their loyalty, with the most loyal getting the better jobs.  So, fine tune those resumes to prove your loyalty (job experience is not necessary)!

One drawback to the demise of democracy (although some might look at it as a good thing) will be that there will no longer be much, if any, need for lawyers.  I mean, whose gonna argue with a dictator or a king, or his minions?  And aren’t we all sick of the current level of legal maneuvering and wrangling in exhibition in today’s so-called democracy? As everyone understands, it’ll be the dictator’s way – or no way!  Another drawback to the demise of democracy is the elimination of “Main Street Republicans” (the old Conversatives who were sorely needed to balance our democracy) as they are required to join the MAGA ranks or suffer being added to all the black lists containing Democrats and others who opposed MAGA:  there is no such thing as opposition anymore – loyal or not.  This might account for some job loss, no big deal in the totality of things, and well offset by the authoritarian job creation.

Tennessee, being a haven for MAGA folks, will see many of these new benefits come its way.  Message understood:  government administration is to follow the wishes of a few men, not equal justice for all!  An America made great again will be a thing of wonder!  And who ever said that redemption is not possible?  Where Andrew Johnson failed, MAGA will have completed the 2^nd coming with Trump.  Hallelujah!  So, start getting those resumes updated so you can be chosen by the few in service to the few, maybe even becoming one of the few! 

Editor’s note: The views of Bob Bates and any other editorialist or opinion writer are the opinions of the writer and not necessarily the opinion of the staff or management of The News.