K

In the simplest of terms, grief is the pain we feel after a significant loss.  Grief is often only related to the loss of an individual, but I do feel as though grief can come in the midst of many situations – divorce, illness, infertility and dreams not realized.

When asked over the last week how our family was holding up after the loss of my mother-in-law, the only answer I could find to adequality sum up our current seat on this rollercoaster ride was “grief is weird”. One day you may feel as though the ride is slowly beginning to an end and your seat belt can become unloosened and in the next moment you are back up the climb to the next drop. Grief, in my opinion, is most certainly multi-layered. Although it has only been a month since our immense loss, the constant layers that have been revealed are challenging and beautiful all at once. There is the most organic layer of our worldly humanity that keeps us in the sadness and brokenness yet there is the beautiful unworthy layer of Jesus that gives us hope and joy. How can you exist in the two worlds of beautiful and broken? When we take time to sit with God you will realize that there is not an answer to the ups and downs of grief – and that is okay.

Take a look at the book of Job, specifically Job 40 when Job sits down with God and realizes because of God’s love, mercy and flawless character there doesn’t have to be an answer. If you know God intimately and consider the hope we have in Him then you are able to endure any loss this side of Heaven. When life breaks your heart and grief becomes all consuming, grab a seat at the table and visit with God. Although our worlds are filled with triumph and tragedy, good and evil, danger and delight you can rest assured that God is good. You did not choose to purchase a ticket for this ride, but when the ascent begins it is imperative that you seek God in every twist and turn. We cannot be surprised when feelings of unbearable pain, anger, denial, resentment and withdrawal come because even Job felt those very things. One of Satan’s favorite tactics would be to slip into the mind of a person grieving and whisper a lie that would cause you to be angry with God. Even Job’s wife wished Job would “curse God and die” according to Job 2:9.

The enemy would love a seat next to you on this rollercoaster through life – peek over your shoulder to make sure it’s Jesus you see. I would ask you today to ask God to bring good out of your pain and that your loss will help another person as they begin their tough journey. “Grief is weird.” – that’s all my heart could provide as an answer because honestly there wasn’t one. It is okay that I don’t have the words to console my grieving husband, it’s okay that the photos cause too much pain right now, it’s okay that we have regrets of not saying one more “I love you”, it’s okay that the song makes you cry – it’s okay because God says He’s with you. The rollercoaster you never asked to be strapped in to is scary, but with God by your side you are in safe and capable hands that will ultimately bring healing, peace and joy once again.

“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18.

Blessings,

Kayla