Kyle Murphy

Ladies, gentlemen, and the increasingly large number of people who identify as “exhausted,” welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth: The United States of America, where the political process has evolved from a system of checks and balances into a high-stakes reality show that determines which party controls our nuclear weapons. Democrats now must bow to the DSA, which is the rising communist wing of the party. And communism is like veganism: Both are fine unless you like food. American politics has reached a level of sophistication previously reserved for middleschool cafeteria arguments and Twitter (sorry, X) quote-tweets. The two major parties, those ancient and venerable institutions, have long since abandoned the quaint notion of governing in favor of a perpetual performative theater of the absurd.