Kyle Murphy

Ayear ago, data centers were “the next big thing.” Experts predicted that artificial intelligence would surpass human intelligence by 2029 -- maybe even sooner if DSA members kept lowering the bar. There used to be respectable things to fear and address at the ballot box: crime, inflation, open borders, the other party’s nominees, or the possibility that your teenager would major in interpretive dance. Those were the good ole days. In 2026, the electorate has discovered a fresher terror, one that unites the farm-to-table Democrat and the conspiracy theorist Republicans like nothing since shared hatred of airport Wi-Fi. The last time both parties agreed on something, they voted on a $7 trillion worthless war in Iran and Afghanistan.